Agent P

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: new term

    2018-09-06T23:03:00Z

    8.30am, Titanic Room: New term, early gloom. Ominous memo from Them Upstairs. GBH may miss Q4 EMEA targets. Bloody Brexit. Even shed market is sluggish.

  • Agent P
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    Agent P: holiday chat

    2018-08-23T23:00:00Z

    8.30am, Oceanic Room: Mostly holiday chat. Geek Boy still in San Fran, Old Tom in Eastbourne. My fortnight at the Eden Roc Miami Beach Resort was amazing. Posh Girl cemented relationship with MAGA Properties guy in Tuscany. 😊

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: serviced solution

    2018-08-03T10:45:00Z

    8.30am, air con knackered in GBH House. Cowering under tree in Portman Square: I begin jauntily. Can’t let Team P smell my fear. Just as well only three of the six are sprawled on the withered grass. Posh Girl is in Tuscany, Posh Boy in Bolivia and Sporty Girl sweating up some foreign hill on her

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: the shed is dead

    2018-07-19T23:01:00Z

    2pm, Adriatic room: Meeting moved to 2pm to punish Old Tom. Teach him to roll back from The Guinea mid-afternoon last Friday. (Mayfair boozer. Pricey pints, even pricier £64 set menu. Place often crammed with Strutt Parker guys, drinking to forget they now work for BNP Paribas.)

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: quick maths

    2018-07-05T23:00:00Z

    8.30am, Olympic room: A group mull begins on how Berkeley has upped its profits by 15% to £934m, on revenues up 0% at £2.7bn.

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: retail details

    2018-06-22T00:00:00Z

    8:00 Homeric Room: Secret pre-meeting of grown-ups with Cautious Clive, GBH’s in-house pedant and UK head of valuation.

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: Green Machine

    2018-06-07T23:00:00Z

    8:47am, Corinthic Room: The whiff of spliff off Geek Boy as he sashays in late triggers a thought. I stop parroting instructions from Them Upstairs to really go for CBRE’s valuation clients.

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    News

    Agent P: estate management

    2018-05-25T00:00:00Z

    8:30am, Adriatic Room: Breeding will out.

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: embracing the future

    2018-05-10T22:50:00Z

    8:45am, Titanic Room: Geek Boy slopes in 15 minutes late, skeletal in his usual mucky T-shirt. He starts on. I stop him, annoyed. “No! I’m not taking your loony plan to Them Upstairs.”

  • Agent P
    News

    Agent P: landing a whale

    2018-04-27T00:00:00Z

    8:30am, Oceanic Room: Respect to Young Thruster. He’s landed a whale of a deal, a surprise. His dad was a spiv. Made a pile building up a chain of exhaust centres. We made his second pile selling them.