![Uma 5[9]](https://d2bq2usf2vwncx.cloudfront.net/Pictures/274x183/5/0/3/1879503_uma59_303452.jpeg)
All Agent P articles – Page 6
-
NewsAgent P: roll on Christmas parties
8.30am, Olympus room: “Roll on the Christmas party,” I say brightly, after delivering the bad news, the worse news and the plain chilling news – the bad news being the imminent appearance of one of GBH’s own in court, charged with sexual harassment against one of our female graduates at ...
-
NewsAgent P: revaluations
8.30am, Adriatic Room: Young Thruster waltzes in, looking a prat in a pink grandpa vest and skinny jeans. I tell him to bugger off home and change back into his Thomas Pink shirt and M&S chinos.
-
NewsAgent P: Ructions in Riyadh
8.00am, Titanic Room: Gloom, 40 fathoms deep. All hope for a £90m deal has just sunk like that bloody ship on the wall, along with a whale of a fee.
-
NewsAgent P: double dealing
8.00am, Homeric Room: Posh Girl shifts uneasily in her seat as Young Thruster explains the move he’s made to muscle out a one-man-and-his-dog tenant rep team from a deal.
-
NewsAgent P: Vision 2025
7:30am EST: Windsor Ballroom, Buckhead Intercontinental, Atlanta. Yay! Three days of mingling with GBH top brass at annual jamboree. Snagged a spot, thanks to Old Tom and Sporty Girl. Wham! Bam! My dynamic duo suckered a Chinese bicycle billionaire into cycling £51m into a tumbleweed resi site in Docklands. Result!
-
NewsAgent P: winds of change
8:30am, Olympic Room: Winds of change are wafting over the pond from Our Bloody American Masters in Atlanta. Looks like Posh Girl’s six months of trying to snag the global mandate to flog Trump’s Hansel and Gretel golf chalets in Scotland has been blown away.
-
NewsAgent P: new term
8.30am, Titanic Room: New term, early gloom. Ominous memo from Them Upstairs. GBH may miss Q4 EMEA targets. Bloody Brexit. Even shed market is sluggish.
-
NewsAgent P: holiday chat
8.30am, Oceanic Room: Mostly holiday chat. Geek Boy still in San Fran, Old Tom in Eastbourne. My fortnight at the Eden Roc Miami Beach Resort was amazing. Posh Girl cemented relationship with MAGA Properties guy in Tuscany. 😊
-
NewsAgent P: serviced solution
8.30am, air con knackered in GBH House. Cowering under tree in Portman Square: I begin jauntily. Can’t let Team P smell my fear. Just as well only three of the six are sprawled on the withered grass. Posh Girl is in Tuscany, Posh Boy in Bolivia and Sporty Girl sweating ...
-
NewsAgent P: the shed is dead
2pm, Adriatic room: Meeting moved to 2pm to punish Old Tom. Teach him to roll back from The Guinea mid-afternoon last Friday. (Mayfair boozer. Pricey pints, even pricier £64 set menu. Place often crammed with Strutt & Parker guys, drinking to forget they now work for BNP Paribas.)
-
NewsAgent P: quick maths
8.30am, Olympic room: A group mull begins on how Berkeley has upped its profits by 15% to £934m, on revenues up 0% at £2.7bn.
-
NewsAgent P: retail details
8:00 Homeric Room: Secret pre-meeting of grown-ups with Cautious Clive, GBH’s in-house pedant and UK head of valuation.
-
NewsAgent P: Green Machine
8:47am, Corinthic Room: The whiff of spliff off Geek Boy as he sashays in late triggers a thought. I stop parroting instructions from Them Upstairs to really go for CBRE’s valuation clients.
-
-
NewsAgent P: embracing the future
8:45am, Titanic Room: Geek Boy slopes in 15 minutes late, skeletal in his usual mucky T-shirt. He starts on. I stop him, annoyed. “No! I’m not taking your loony plan to Them Upstairs.”
-
NewsAgent P: landing a whale
8:30am, Oceanic Room: Respect to Young Thruster. He’s landed a whale of a deal, a surprise. His dad was a spiv. Made a pile building up a chain of exhaust centres. We made his second pile selling them.
-
NewsAgent P: watercooler talk
8.30am, Teutonic Room: Sporty Girl quivers with indignation at the disclosure by Them Upstairs that guys at GBH earn 41% more than gals.
-
NewsAgent P: negotiations in Guildhall
8.30am huddle, Olympic Room: Happy days! Met mate Tim from Kingston Poly days at City Property Association lunch in the Guildhall last week.
-
NewsAgent P: on tour at Mipim
8:30am, Homeric Room: Old Tom slides into his seat, back a day early from Mipim. “Boring, boring, boring…” he mutters. Even La Chunga, I ask of the louche and mesosphere-priced spot by the Martinez. He grunts something about meeting a Malaysian.
