Friday 10 September 8.30am, Britannic Room: What a week! School’s-back atmosphere. Team P all present and correct at GBH House since Tuesday. Today’s official agenda handed down from the Eighth Floor. Tell us in 500 words and on one Excel sheet how your tiny shard of GBH is going to make money in 2022.

Agent P

The target? Haul ourselves back to the level of 2019 – or face absorption by team run by my mortal enemy, Jonty Drawbell. A complete SH One T. The Great Guessing Game of drawing up the 2022 budget has begun. Atlanta sets the EMEA target; EMEA sets the UK target. We then fib/exaggerate.

After 10 minutes of generalised mumbling about opportunities in the nursery school and health sciences, we reach the self-preserving conclusion that we can bring in revenues in 2022 that match 2019.

Then to the meat and drink. Catching up on 15 months of delicious non-Zoom-able gossip garnered since Tuesday from around the coffee machines. How A has finally split with B. How C is now with D. They always fancied one another. How can E have got so fat? Looks like F has been hitting the sauce, judging by his nose. Best of all, how Jonty has lost his biggest client after a mighty fall-out.

Strictly entre nous… actually no, it would be unfair to say. Oh, happy days.