Friday 30 April: I’m more Savills than Knight Frank, really. CBRE if the money was good. My loyalty to GBH is running dry. Atlanta has tapped Giles A instead of Alex W to run the UK. Everyone knows Alex is a top-dollar investment agent and all-round good guy, well, gal. Everyone knows Giles is a ‘kiss-up, kick-down’ plonker.

Agent P

Meanwhile, Knight Frank segues from one good guy to another. From one-time Thames Valley golden boy Alistair Elliott to well-liked gent Will Beardmore-Gray. The Proprietary Partners get to act like a college of Cardinals. They watch each other perform for years. Who gets the tap has been pretty much settled come the time to sequester in Baker Street.

Here? Discontent simmers across WhatsApp. Tales of how Giles kicked rivals in the chops as he smarmed up the greasy pole are retold. Atlanta does not give a damn of course, they are not on receive. Giles would have been nodded the job by a well-cultivated crony at Starfleet Command. The Yanks are preoccupied with whitewashing GBH’s dealings with Trump and his cronies while sucking up to Biden appointees. Me? I wish I hadn’t stiffed that Knight Frank guy out of that deal last year. Not entirely ethical methods were employed. Sigh. Time for another…