Friday 12 May, 9am, Teutonic Room: “Anyone got a bright idea?” I ask in response to the news that one of Posh Boy’s rougher clients is looking to ‘repurpose’ a closed petrol station bought on the roaring A24 in south London – to go from BTR to… well, anything really. 

“Ideas, please, guys,” pleads Posh Boy. “Our client bought the site for £10m on my advice that 52 studio flats would yield 7.8%. His lenders want 8% on the debt – double the 4% we put in the pre-Truss appraisal. Bad enough. But now his equity partners in Tirana have been spooked by tales of the UK BTR market nosediving.”

“Eh?” says Charlie Boy. “BTR is still going gangbusters, surely?” Posh Boy explodes. “Read the papers! The Big Boys are slowing the pace. Completions are down 61% in London.” Sporty Girl grins: “Not much chance for your friend and that pup of a garage you sold him!”

“Guys, guys… keep it civil,” I sigh. “Come on, what would give Posh Boy’s man a decent yield?” Geek Boy rarely contributes to earthbound matters, preferring to keep his head in the iCloud, but out of the mouths…

”Forget the electric car revolution – a 10-year chicken-and-egg disaster in the making. Why not reopen the place as a petrol station?