Friday 31 March, 7.30am Baltic Room: Unholy hour to be in the office. But today is ‘F’ Day. No, not eff… F-rated, as in Energy Performance Certificate clunkers. Today is the last day before it becomes unlawful to continue to let commercial property with an ‘F’ or ‘G’ rating.

Agent P

Agent P

Unlawful! Who knew? But that’s what an overlong memo from GBH’s in-house lawyer stressed at the start of March. There was a lot of waffle about being warned in 2018 – and that landlords can still wriggle out of things by filling in a lot of paperwork to prove an upgrade will cost too much.

But, hey, who wants to do that? Not the ‘B-list’ owners of outer London blocks with ‘F’ and ‘G’ EPC ratings who are Team P clients. We’ve badgered them for weeks to sort out lease extensions and sign up any new tenants by tonight, while keeping mum on the EPC deadline.

“How are we doing?” I ask Posh Girl. “Five-year extension signed last night.” Tick. Charlie Boy? “Had to chip 10% from the rent yesterday, but new tenant signing for 7,500 sq ft at noon.” Tick. Young Thruster? Those insulation manufacturers still taking 10,000 sq ft in Acton? “Yes,” he says, pulling a face. “But their smartass lawyer seemed to know all about this EPC stuff. Landlord caved and almost gave the space away.”