Friday 17 June 8.30am, Baltic Room: Managed to drag entire team into office on a Friday. Result! Done by promising them details of a new instruction, the like of which no one has ever had before. 

“Right,” I say to five expectant faces, turned my way for a change instead of inspecting their nails. “Let’s hear from Geek Lad. He’s been to a proptech show and wants to give an update on how artificial intelligence is going to replace you lot.”

Only a joke. But it lands flat. Nail gazing begins as Geek Lad drones on for 15 minutes. The IT charlatans selling answers to questions that don’t need answering now think AI can do better deals than RICS-qualified humans. He finally shuts up.

“Right,” I say again. “What would you think if we got into the greenhouse game?” “Is this a joke?” says Sporty Girl, anxious to get away for a sponsored 50k ride. “Far from it,” I retort. “GBH has been instructed by a consortium of investors who want to build 50 to 100 glasshouses the size of mega-sheds.

“Food safety is a thing, now the EU hates us.” “In that case,” says Charlie Boy in a piece of lateral thinking bordering on genius, “why don’t we get our shed boys involved?” “Yes, I was thinking much the same,” I say.

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