Friday 20 May 8.30am, Teutonic Room: Managed to get a full house this week using the carrot of going for lunch and not coming back. Wagamama in Holborn, not the Punchbowl in Mayfair. I saw no need to mention the venue. The days of scoffing the £50 set menu and downing Bordeaux are long gone.

Agent P

Serious business today. Our research guys have been devilling into government figures showing Covid furlough payments and loans. Cleverly, they have matched the grants and loans against tenants we manage who are refusing to pay rent arrears. I wondered what was up when an all-company alert went out asking staff to flag up arrears that landlord clients were finding it impossible to collect.

I highlighted an optician in 31 outlets, owned by a Team P-managed landlord, who was refusing to pay £2m in Covid arrears. Turns out they milked the government for nearly £3m!

Purpose of today’s meeting? To talk through ways of twisting their arm into paying. With us are Joe and Freda from said landlord. Not a conversation that could be had on Zoom. Nor one I can safely share with you, dear reader.

But it will involve shaming, blaming, lawyers and bailiffs. “How about the old ‘horse’s head in the bed’ trick?” said Young Thruster. We all laughed, grimly.