All Agent P articles – Page 5
-
News
Agent P: When will it end?
3.40pm, 27 March: day 14 of self-isolation. Late afternoons are the worst. Too early for a beer, too late for a snooze.
-
News
Agent P: Self-isolating
9:45am, 13 March: Self-isolating. Weird things are happening. Stopped scrolling through the phone on Tuesday, after seven days of being stuck at home.
-
News
Agent P: ticket to Mipim
28 February, 9:30am, Baltic Room: Things picking up, jolly meeting, until now. Geek Boy pipes up that he’s going to Mipim. “Really?” I say, straining to sound unconcerned. Yesterday the Eighth Floor told me I wasn’t getting a berth after 17 consecutive years. “GBH’s EMEA CDO has got me a ...
-
News
Agent P: Olympic room
14 February, 8:30am, Olympic Room: All I did was josh Posh Girl about her short skirt, asking if she had a hot date tonight. I may have winked, but it was a friendly wink.
-
News
Agent P: Baltic Room
8.30 am, 17 January, Baltic Room: Redacted client attitude survey towards GBH and our competitors lies smouldering on the table. An annual anal examination costing £50k!
-
News
Agent P: Where is everyone?
20 December, 10:30am. Alone, at hot-desk: I mean, come on! Where is everyone? After half an hour waiting for the rest of Team P in the Titanic Room I give up.
-
News
Agent P: Baltic Room
8.30am, 6 December, Baltic Room: Young Thruster has been tasked with finding out why the hell LondonMetric would want to splash £14.5m on 18 roadside car wash sites. Gangs of Albanians in pub car parks are cheaper and better, surely?
-
News
Agent P: Teutonic Room
8.30am, 22 November, Teutonic Room: Geek Boy brings bad tidings. He’s been operating undercover for the last six months. Well, shambling along in his scruffy threads to saloon bar meetings of local malcontents, protesting against our client’s plans to ease London’s housing crisis by adding 750 flats in two 45-storey ...
-
News
Agent P: The Savoy
8:30pm, 11 October, Gondoliers Room, The Savoy: This is the life! GBH’s best Asian client has gathered the development team that managed to jam an extra 1,400 homes on brownfield land just inside the M25, bought five years ago with outline permission for 5,000 units, for a no-expense-spared dinner.
-
News
Agent P: sardine space
8:30am, 26 July, Corinthic Room: Mutterings about moving to second floor persist. But I do feel we six seem to be managing well with four desks.
-
News
Agent P: crowd-funder suckers
14 June, Adriatic Room, 8am: Geek Boy is in the doghouse. Big time.
-
News
Agent P: roundtable revelations
17 May, Corinthic Room: I feel Team P deserve to hear what their seniors are thinking.
-
News
Agent P: gender imbalance
What a turn-up! I’m sat at the big round table on the eighth floor of Henry House: 700 worker bees beneath, ours to command! Say hello to the newest member of the eight-strong UK board.
-
News
Agent P: woke woes
9.30am, 18 April, Homeric Room: Agent P, alone, bangs head on table, repeats, confides to empty room: “I’ve had it with this diversity twaddle!”
-
News
Agent P: valuation day
8.30am, 5 April, Adriatic Room: Young Thruster has the air of a crestfallen cockerel.
-
News
Agent P: Mipim days
8 March, Skype call to team from rat-hole flat in Nice: “Hello? Hell-bloody-lo! Where are you all?”
-
News
Agent P: opposite numbers
21 February, The Punchbowl private dining room, Mayfair: Joy suddenly confined.
-
News
Agent P: rental reviews
8.00am, Corinthic room: Old Tom is back from an awkward meeting with his raffish client Clive who owns three retail parks, two containing Carpetright stores.
-
News
Agent P: new year returns
Homeric Room, 8:45am: Geek Boy is back from San Fran, full of the joys of proptech. Promising interest from GBH, he met as many start-ups as possible. The bearded idiot has been gabbing for 45 minutes on how we’ll be apped out of existence, replaced by robots, drones and software ...
-
News
Agent P: fake news?
8:00am, Teutonic Room: My best PR idea ever was yesterday squashed by Them Upstairs. Am I hacked off? Damn right I am