28 February, 9:30am, Baltic Room: Things picking up, jolly meeting, until now. Geek Boy pipes up that he’s going to Mipim. “Really?” I say, straining to sound unconcerned. Yesterday the Eighth Floor told me I wasn’t getting a berth after 17 consecutive years. “GBH’s EMEA CDO has got me a pass,” he says.

Agent P

“And what’s a CDO?’ I ask, knowing full well Atlanta has parachuted in some beard ‘n’ bun bozo from Silicon Valley on £250k a year. Here to lead the enlightened down the garden path into an AI-assisted future! Money no object! Consigning us unselected humans to the digital mincer! Sorry, bit paranoid.

“Mr Zuckerstien is our chief digital officer,” Geek Boy says. “He’s assembling a Mipim group of those familiar with UK proptech to seek acquisitions.” I tell him to go forth and multiply.

Posh Girl says the Eighth Floor did the usual cost-benefit analysis on Mipim. Cost versus directly attributable fees. The usual answer: ‘a lot’ – and a ‘maybe some’. That’s it – I blow: “For the love of… You can’t measure the treasure you may get years later, after a £500 night at La Chunga with a couple of uni mates who have gone client side. Can you? Say something! Somebody?”